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The Evils of Country Western 'Music'
I know you're scared, but please don't look away. You need to to hear this. It's important that you read this for your own safety and the safety of those dear to you. Country music is not working with the mullets; it's an evil all in its own. Country music promotes inbreeding and the dropping of IQ's. Yes, my friend, that's right. Inbreeding is a growing problem in the country music community. In order to stop it we must ban country music. It's the only way. Would you want your child going to school with a mutant? Of course not! We can't blame the mutants; we can only blame the its parents who are also its aunt and uncle and cousins. Please, don't give into the evils of country western 'music'.
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Is some Country ok?
There are some country songs that aren't evil.
Pretty much it's just the ones about alcohol like Everclear by Pat Green. That's a great song even though it's country. |
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Safety procedures in case of an encounter with country music
If you are ever in a situation where the listening to country western music is inevitable please follow these steps:
1. Learn your surroundings- Before anything else scan the area for an exit. Try to find one close and easy to get to.
2. Plug your ears- It's important that you keep out as much of the horrifying sound out as possible.
3. Move toward the exit- Casually make your way to the exit. Try to act natural, but walk quickly your brain can only take so much.
4. Make distance- Once you're out get as far away as you can. If you have a car that's even better. Drive! Quickly! Don't get pulled over. however, it's not worth the price of a ticket.
5. Clearing your mind- Once you are at a safe distance and you can get to a stereo make sure that you listen to atleast 20 minutes of punk to flush your mind of those evil words it had to endure listening to before.
6. Congratulations- After completing those 5 steps you should be safe and ready to continue your life.
Warning: if after you complete these steps you are still humming a country song listen to the catchiest punk song you know of.
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This is one of my favorite images
This is my good friend Hal. I took this picture on his birthday. I think he likes to be in pictures. |
